The circus of sharing on social media and struggling to survive in a modern world

Content:

The pressure of posting online
The circus of social media
What I’m going to do about it
Adventure Log

Do you ever just feel overwhelmed with the pure amount of information, opportunities, and general stuff there is in the world?

Truthfully, most of the time I don’t know what to do with myself, but I also can’t seem to stop focusing on what I should be doing with myself. In my quest to figure out who I am and what I want, there’s so many voices flowing through my head. It’s hard to listen to them all, let alone filter out which ones are good or bad, lies or truth, mine or someone else’s.

In this journey of figuring out what I want (if anyone can figure out a different phrase for it, please tell me, it still sounds so cheesy) I feel a constant pressure to share online. Anyone else?

With sharing online comes the pressure to monetize. Whether that be your life, your hobbies, your passions, your suffering, your joys, someone else wants to see it. Someone will pay you for it.

I’ve been an active observer on the internet for long enough to know that time and attention are not just valuable, they’re the currency of the internet. Now, privacy seems to be the currency of those who put anything online. Maybe privacy is the currency of fame.

If Daniel Day Lewis can manage to win several Oscars and be a very private man, we admire him. However, “the audience” is infuriated when our favorite influencer or celebrity chooses to keep the reason behind their breakup private. Why is this? I can’t figure it out.

This endless need to know and be involved in other people’s lives is draining by itself. Now, with the introduction of getting paid by posting anything that garners attention, it adds a whole new level of a balancing act.

It requires that whomever is getting paid the praise, money, and attention, is also spending a part of themselves. It’s why many social media influencers have teams and managers, because one person couldn’t possibly put that much effort into curating what people demand.

Now, imagine the spectator, the person sitting on the sidelines, watching as this person and thousands like them on the other side of their little screen seemingly live easy, glamorous, and desirable lives.

Our spectator is told by many of these influencers and content creators that “it’s hard, but so worth it.”

“There are people who curate a seamless life or business and they make money off of it just by posting. Why can’t you do it too?”

“You can film and share your life/job/hobby online, and people will watch and you can get paid!”

“I quit my 9-5 and I’ve never been happier.”

“Starting my own business and being my own boss is the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done.”

The spectator witnesses this revolution of earning a life and income for yourself simply by putting yourself out there. Now, the average US Citizen is struggling with their finances, they see that there is an easy way out, and they grasp for it. They start posting online and wait for the world to open up to them and their life to get better.

Turns out, it’s not as easy as they thought. They try, they fail, and they run away. Maybe they try a few more times with no success… (This is not always the case, but go with me here.)

“That’s fine, you just have to keep trying until the right people find you!”

or

“The algorithm loves this, try this instead!”

And they try (even if just a tiny amount or for months or years) and continue to fail. They give up and watch as other people can make a life for themselves based on their passion.

And what if you do succeed? Then, you’re at the mercy of the algorithm, your viewers, the brands you make deals with, and the apps you create on. It’s a trade off, sure, each job has its own downfalls. That’s the joy of working in our world.

However, is monetizing your life and/or your creativity worth it? Do you want to put your most vulnerable self on display? If your answer is no, some people create personas, or they have a business they put forward and you can do that too! Or you can post as yourself and see if people will connect and relate.

But wait! If you choose this influencer life, you run the risk of a horrible moral crime of our time, inauthenticity.

Heaven forbid you put on a front to protect yourself. Or maybe you just didn’t share the whole truth. Or you hid a part of who you are. Or you do something that’s blatantly for money when you should be hiding the ways you get money so it’s not obvious.

Because it’s terrible to admit that what you’re doing is actually for money. No, we, the people, want to see you for who you really are. You aren’t allowed to make money off of what entertains the audience and still be satisfied with yourself, even though that’s what we told you to do in the first place. Heaven forbid you try to inauthentically make money. Didn’t you know authenticity is determined by the viewer’s standards, not the creators intentions?

When did people start shouting from the rooftops the benefits of being a walking advertisement and then get upset that people did it?

“You’re a sell out…”

“This is so cheesy and cringe…”

“I can’t believe they did that…”

Don’t forget that if you don’t please the masses, they could publicly humiliate you (a form of punishment that has been known to cause severe mental problems).

Being canceled could be waiting just around the corner. It doesn’t matter if there was more context to the situation and no one bothered to look it up, these edited sound bites and clips prove that you’re a terrible person.*

*I’m not saying that we shouldn’t hold people accountable for their actions, but we also have a responsibility as the viewer to form our own opinions, do our research, and not just believe whatever is put in front of us online.

The internet has become a traveling circus where attention is your entrance fee and anyone can put themselves up as an act.

Is this fine in theory? Sure, but the success is determined by a horrible ring leader only out to seek his own gain and not the gain of the company of performers. Sure, the audience is a key factor, but they don’t get to determine who is front and center. The ring leader sees what’s popular based on a short display and then only puts those people forward for the audience to view.

It’s inconsistent and risky.

So, I sit here in my living room, having been frozen by possibility and indecision for the last few hours. Unfortunately, this is not abnormal for me. I pull up my traveling circus and pay well beyond my fee.

Did they rip me off? No.

I’m gladly giving my currency away. It provides me with entertainment, relatability, comfort, solidarity, empathy, joy, anger, education, connection. I can get it all right there with a simple raising of my hand.

I’m certain I can’t be the only person who feels this way. But it seems odd to me that we don’t discuss it more. At least, what I’m being given by the algorithm isn’t showing it to me.

Will I stop using the internet? No. Will it still be a complicated source of frustration and entertainment and education? Yes.

That’s the world we live in. If the internet didn’t exist, I’m sure we’d still deal with it in print, or in person. Definitely not to the extreme degree we’re experiencing it now. However, the key ingredient would still be there. Humanity. We’re dealing with humans who are at their very nature complex.

So it’s not just a matter of, “how do I exist in the world with the internet?”

I think the question is more, how do I exist in a world of humans. Which, thankfully, has been asked for thousands of years by other people and I am not alone in my struggle.

The only thing I can agree with Ross Geller on.

**Fun Fact:** I hate Ross Geller. He’s the worst.

What I do know is that I want to be intentional in living my life be it online or offline.

As far as internet consumption is concerned, I’m going to work on regulating the quality of my internet intake.

There are loads of studies on the impact of digital media on the brain, but this study from the NIH says in its conclusion, “The brain is affected by the way we use it. It is hardly a stretch to expect that intensive digital media use will change human brains due to processes of neuronal plasticity. But it is less clear how these new technologies will change human cognition (language skills, IQ, capacity of working memory) and emotional processing in a social context.”

So, I’m going to spend less time doom scrolling, and more time learning and getting off the internet.

What I’ve found is that some people happened to connect to my writing, which is quite surprising to me. Writing comes the easiest to me, so if you keep reading, I’ll keep writing.

If I try something else, it’s ok. If I stop all together, it’s ok. I’m going to share in the way I think is best and try not to let the voices to monetize every aspect of my life take over.

In the mean time, you can find me. I’ll let you know how it goes.

Next time, I’m going to talk about relatability fatigue.

Until next time,

Bethany

Advenutre Log

Chapter 1:

Last time, I discussed “dating myself’”. I am not a fan of this term. I much prefer the idea of an explorer trecking through the jungle or a researcher documenting their finds. You get the idea, so I’m going to call it the Adventure Log.

My husband, a talented photographer, has kindly lent me his camera to try capturing things I see. (By the way, you should totally check out his tintype photography here.)

The camera is a Fujifilm X-T1, and I’m using a 35mm lens. Having to manually focus is new for me, since I’m accustomed to a camera that can zoom and adjust it’s own focus. It forces me to slow down and really think about the shot instead of just pointing and shooting.

As far as trying new things goes, photography is something I’m really enjoying so far.

Below are a few of the photos I’ve taken.